Wth! Pervs!
by Plague Rose
Summary: Some language, inudity, and full of sick humor. But please read!


I own nothing but this fanfic.

Azureplague is my muse for this story.

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Hakkai POV

"Goddamn it!"

Hakkai sat at the window ledge, overhearing Sanzo's cursing from the reception's desk. The price of tonight's dinner (plus the holes fired on the walls) must have made his migraine worse. Oh dear, this is going to be a rough night. He sighed and stared down at the scenery before him. Such a beautiful garden. The hotel they're staying in is also lovely. No wonder the expense of the damage is high. As Hakkai pet Hakuryuu along the head and neck, his priest friend stomped towards him. He's rubbing his head, which is messing his golden locks at the same time. Yep, he's suffering from his migraines all right.

"Oh Sanzo, are you ready?" Hakkai asked in his calm tone.

The older man looked like he was ready to whip up his fan. Lucky for Hakkai that he doesn't annoy Sanzo as bad as his other allies. Both who yell and fight as if there life depended on it. Moments like riding in the Jeep and who is going to gets the last spring roll. Meanwhile, Hakkai did the standing and smiling, and Sanzo does the punishing by whacking or shooting them. Either way, they're reminders that are telling them "shut up or I'll make you," and stopped without hesitation.

The blondie man kept clenching on his head with his hand. He made a low growl, but put his leathered-covered hand down. "The shit's paid for. Now let's pick up the Idiot Twins." he answered as he turns towards the hallway. Hakkai followed after with a nervous twitch in his eye.

"_Now I only hope that those two would behave themselves." _Even in his thoughts, he sounded wistfully hopeful. But his thoughts came to a stand still when he caught sight of Sanzo frozen in his tracks.

Hakkai hesitantly walked towards the monk, "Um, Sanzo? What's…?"

Before he finished his sentence, Sanzo raised his gun and turned the safety off.

"Uh, Sanzo what are you doing?"

"Listen!"

**Bam! Bam! **

The horrible, loud sounds are coming through the door next to us. It was the door that leads to the room Gojyo and Goku are staying in, following along are moans and groans ….what? Oh God no…..Gojyo wouldn't…..

Sanzo's POV (Plaguerose: or pissed off view/I'll give you another hole to crap in, as I like to call it.

Azureplague: What!? Rose! Don't!

Plaguerose: eep…)

He's dead. That red-headed bastard's dead! Sanzo, with banishing gun in hand, he violently bangs on the door made of mahogany wood.

Flash backs of how pure, innocent, and yet annoying personality of that young lad popped up. From when he saved him from that prison to stealing the farmer's food back before the journey. Now, that image of innocence is going to be tainted by that good for nothing, womanizing kappa! Shooting a bullet in the lock, and then bursting through the door, gun in hand, ready to protect his poor saru's purity or what's left of it. Running with the forethought in mind, "What the F!!! What are you doing, you worthless bastard!!! _To my precious monkey._"

Gojyo POV

"What the hell's that?"

"Why ask me?"

Gojyo stopped mid-point of applying ointment towards Goku's back. He turned towards the source of the banging, wondering what the hell's going on. The smiling bastard walked in after Sanzo blasted the lock on the door. Sanzo walked towards the bed cocks the gun and aims directly between Gojyo's eyes.

Gojyo quirk his eyebrow, "you do know that door was unlocked, right?"

Multiple veins pop around Sanzo's head, but mainly around the temple, "Touch my monkey again, I'll not only blow your brains I will also shot both your balls off with a shot gun!!!"

Gojyo sweats as he stares at the gun. Even though he's ready to wet himself, he asks, "What the hell's wrong with you?!" As Goku stares at the scene with confused eyes, Sanzo growls, "You know what you're doing, asshole!" Doing his best not to scream, Gojyo replied, "Look man, I'm just applying lotion to his back because he fell down" There's panic and anger coming from voice as the read head spoke. Mostly anger. Sanzo and Hakkai stares at the red head with confused eyes. The calm man asked him, "So, all that screaming and banging was just putting lotion on Goku's back pain?" Goku and Gojyo stared at the men and each other, back and forth. Then at the same time, they gagged. What the hell where they thinking?! Hey, Gojyo knows he's the horny one, but that's just sick!

Just then the question fully registered in Gojyo's pea sized brain, "We weren't screaming."

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Reveiw if you like are, or if you want a sequel. 


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